I Aim to Befuddle

I'm at Errant Parent today, discussing my botched attempts at teaching my kids the Facts of Life.  To illustrate what a consummate failure I am in that department, you need only look at the diagram of the female reproductive system I made for my then-4-year-old son:

Confused? Disturbed? Not nearly as much as my son was.  That diagram planted ideas in the dark nether regions of his psyche.  Ideas like, "sexual intercourse is twisted and weird, like being trapped in a dream sequence in a David Lynch movie."  And: "when they're born, babies simply follow the directional arrows out their mothers' cooter."  I'm predicting years of therapy for the kid over this one.  Of course, I do sort of like the way I drew the lady's face to resemble Edvard Munch's The Scream, as that pretty much describes my childbirth experience. 

A Desperate Bid To Increase My Blog Traffic

It is with great dismay that I report that over 90% of my blog traffic is generated by readers googling "Pikachu thunderbolt attack".  For reals.  An additional 9%-plus of my traffic is due to google searches for "granny panties".  The remaining .001 percent is my mother, who is elderly and can't actually see what she's reading, which is really all for the best.

I could become dismayed at these stats.  Instead, I am emboldened.  No, I am not going to post naked pictures of myself.  That would likely result in someone's cardiac arrest and a protracted wrongful death lawsuit.  But while I'm unwilling to whore myself out for blog traffic, I'm more than willing to whore out my dog.

And so I give you . . .

CUTE PUPPY! CUTE PUPPY! CUTE PUPPY!!!!

CUTE PUPPY + CUTE KITTY = INSANE AMOUNT OF CUTENESS!!!  CATS AND DOGS! LIVING TOGETHER!

GAH! THE CUTENESS!! IT'S KILLING ME!!!

Ahem . . . now please excuse me while I go check my Sitemeter stats.