I Aim to Befuddle

I'm at Errant Parent today, discussing my botched attempts at teaching my kids the Facts of Life.  To illustrate what a consummate failure I am in that department, you need only look at the diagram of the female reproductive system I made for my then-4-year-old son:

Confused? Disturbed? Not nearly as much as my son was.  That diagram planted ideas in the dark nether regions of his psyche.  Ideas like, "sexual intercourse is twisted and weird, like being trapped in a dream sequence in a David Lynch movie."  And: "when they're born, babies simply follow the directional arrows out their mothers' cooter."  I'm predicting years of therapy for the kid over this one.  Of course, I do sort of like the way I drew the lady's face to resemble Edvard Munch's The Scream, as that pretty much describes my childbirth experience.